Dump your Junk Coaching Assessment

Based on Georgia Shaffer’s book, “Taking Out Your Emotional Trash”

Dump Your Junk self-assessment is designed to help you identify your current level of emotional well-being and any areas that need your attention. When you minimize the negative emotions in your life and maximize the positive ones, you’ll find you can more easily handle life’s ups and downs. By dumping your junk regularly, you’ll be less stressed, have more energy, and experience more peace and joy.

 

Take some time for reflection and rank the following areas from 1 to 10. Circle the number where you best fit on the scale, with 10 being “I generally handle well” and 1 being “I need lots of improvement in this area.” Under each potential problem area, I’ve given you two examples (at either end of the scale) to help define what needs improvement or what is emotionally healthy.

 

Potential Problem Areas

Needs improvement I generally handle well

Relationships with Family and Friends

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

1 – 3  I have many broken or strained relationships.

8 – 10  My relationships are usually loving and real.

 
Spiritual Health

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

 1 – 3 I ignore this part of my life. God seems remote and distant.

 8 – 10 I regularly spend time nourishing my spiritual well-being.

 

Unrealistic (or Unfulfilled) Expectations

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

 1 – 3  I’m demanding of myself & others, seeking perfection and what I want.

 8 – 10  I realize there are people and areas I can’t control. Good enough is good enough.

 

Anger and Resentment

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

 1 – 3 I’m controlled by anger. I’ve hurt and harmed others with my angry feelings.

 8 – 10 I find constructive ways to handle my anger. I don’t hold onto resentments.

 

Grief, Loss, and Hurt

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

1 – 3  I have not processed or grieved my shattered dreams, deep hurts, or unwanted changes.

 8 – 10  I give myself permission to grieve. I accept my sadness and anger. I’m willing to face the pain of loss.

 

Fear and Worry

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

 1 – 3 I’m paralyzed or easily trapped by fear and worry. Some days I have trouble focusing on the task in front of me.

 8 – 10 I can trust God. My fear and worry do not negatively affect my daily life.

 

Guilt and Shame

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

 1 – 3 I’m overwhelmed by or feel stuck in guilt and/or shame. I spend lots of energy dealing with these thoughts and feelings and try to hide them from others.

 8 – 10 I can identify when my guilt is valid (I didn’t meet a standard I set) or false. I have at least one person with whom I can share my insecurities and shame or guilt.

  

Appropriate Boundaries

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

 1 – 3 I’m a people pleaser at the expense of my own well-being.

8 – 10 I realize I can’t do everything for everyone. I prioritize my time and energy and can tell others kindly when I’m not able to do something

 

Self care

(sleeping, exercising, eating well, etc.) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

 1 – 3 I don’t get enough sleep, eat junk food, and rarely exercise.

 8 – 10 I understand how my emotional well-being is affected by lack of food, sleep, and/or exercise). I am intentional about protecting my physical health.

 

Scoring

 

Tally the number of “1s” you circled. Then tally the number of “2s” you circled, and so forth. Now count how many circles are at 5 or below. Where do you fall in the three categories below? This indicates your general level of emotional well-being.

 

One or two circles at 5 or below:

You are probably dealing with some of the normal struggles of managing your emotions. We all have emotional trash. . . the question is what are you doing with yours?

Taking Out Your Emotional Trash can help you handle your junk in a timely and healthy way.

 

Three to five circles at 5 or below:

Your health and relationships are probably being impacted

 

by negative thoughts and feelings you are ignoring or denying.

Taking Out Your Emotional Trash helps you to identity what is hindering your closest relationships so that you can move toward the joy of intimate loving connections.

 Six or more circles at 5 or below:

You need to address these areas before a crisis develops.

 

You have two choices: (1) you can change; or (2) wait for that crisis.

Taking Out Your Emotional Trash can save you years of pain! You also might want to find a pastor or Christian Coach who can guide you as you remove the thoughts and feelings that are toxic to your health and relationships. It’s never too late to learn how to handle your emotions constructively.

 

Look again at your self-assessment. Any area that has a number 4 or lower is an area you can choose to improve. Start with one area. For example, if you have a 4 on “guilt and shame” and a 1 for “anger and resentment,” focus on anger. What would be the next step for you? Start by seeking God’s wisdom and godly counsel. For constructive ways of handling your frustrations, irritations, and anger you would want to read chapters five and six in

Taking Out Your Emotional Trash is a coaching tool where you’ll learn how you can reduce those blowups and the fallout of your pent-up emotional awareness of where you are emotionally (which this questionnaire helps you identify) along with the commitment to change that enables you to begin reversing any tendencies to react rather than respond to your emotions. What would motivate you to take action? You want to be a good role model for your children or grandchildren. Growing emotionally and spiritually is extremely important to you. You aren’t having any serious relationship problems but you are feeling stuck. Your closest relationships are deteriorating and your friends are distancing themselves from you because of your moodiness, insecurities, jealousies, or anxiety. You’ve become aware how your negative emotions are affecting your performance at work. You’ve put off dealing with some of your negative thoughts and feelings because you figured everything will work out on its own. You now realize that’s not going to happen.

________________________________________________

 

It’s time to bag up that junk!

 

I want to take action and dump my junk because __________________.

 

The first step I need to take is ______________________.

 

The person who could help me with this or hold me accountable is ____________________.

 

“Decide now to have a better life – free of constant emotional stress, miscommunication, pent-up anger and out of control responses and if you can’t make these changes alone, find a coach!

  About the Author:  Georgia Shaffer is a licensed psychologist, life coach, and the author of “How Not to Date a Loser: A Guide to Making Smart Choices”. She is a boardmember of ICCA who coaches and speaks frequently on the subjects of relationships, dating, grief, and rebuilding after loss. Georgia has over 15 years experience helping people identify: “What needs to grow? What needs to go?” For more information or free coaching tools, visit: www.GeorgiaShaffer.com   Want to join Georgia and 6000 other Chriatian Coaches to make a greater difference in the world?   

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